The Outside of Inbound Marketing: 5 Things Bill Lumbergh Hates About Your Website
Please don’t make me work this weekend!
-Jeez Lumbergh, we get it. Our TPS reports weren’t properly formatted! I?ve already been told by my six other bosses. Yes, you know him. That creepy boss who somehow weaseled his way to the top of Initech…
While it seems like good ol’ Lumbergh can?t catch a break?we love him around Marketing Matters Inbound. We just wonder how he musters up all that courage to be so courageous. I mean think about it. He was the backbone behind Initech ? coming in on the weekend, bringing in consultants, promoting Hawaiian shirt day. Yes, this man is a hero.
And to save your website, Lumbergh is here to let you know why he hates it.
What is it?you say you do here?
Ok, Lumbergh didn?t say this in the movie. But he feels this way about your website. I mean what the heck do you actually do? Your website reads like a kid cramming words into a term paper. It?s long, boring and a waste of time. Your home page and about us page don?t give Lumbergh any sense of your business. What did you hear that? That?s the sound of him upping your bounce rate.
Yeah, I need you to come in this Saturday to work on your blog.
Yes a blog is important, but what are you doing? You need to be posting consistently?a least once a week at minimum. Lumbergh needs you to come in this weekend to work on it. I can see you?re disappointed but he?s right! How do you plan to ever convert website visitors into leads? Lumbergh is very disappointed?now he?s tabbing over to watch cat videos. LOOK WHAT YOU?VE DONE!
Right?have you talked to the Bobs about your keyword strategy?
Oh jeez?you really did it now. Were you just zoning out on your computer? Or were you too busy trying to scam the payroll system. Either way, Lumbergh will never find your website. I guess you need to go talk to the Bobs?they?re here to help us out
Ok. I?m seeing a few typos here. I guess we need to talk.
Nothing makes Lumbergh angrier than typos. This is a man who comes in with his suspenders straight and his hair perfect. Not knowing the difference between ?You?re? and ?Your? makes him want to burn Initech down?wait, don?t say that too loudly.
Ahhh. I?m also going to need you to come in this Sunday for CTA mapping. ?
You say you?re a ?people person? eh? Well that has nothing to do with your Call-to-Action mapping. In fact, your CTA?s are pretty much not existent?kind of like Milton. Sorry, my good friend. Hand in your stapler and take the walk of shame. Sunday?s going to be a busy day.
Like we said we love Lumbergh. He?s just such an honest guy?unlike that evil Peter. Take it from Lumbergh or take it from us. Your website probably needs work. Now just don?t take your frustration out on the printer?PC Load Letter What?!?!?!
Marketing Matters Inbound?is an inbound marketing firm specializing in online conversions, content?strategy, PPC campaigns and traditional media placement. Our experience in?B2B digital?marketing?and?traditional media?allows us to deliver results through a strategic media mix. We believe in?aligning and merging marketing and sales/operations for optimal return on your marketing investment.
Leave a ReplyWant to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!